Discovering love and joy through honesty, logic, and courage.
It was a 4.5-inch black-and-white TV combined with a cassette player. Brilliant, I thought. We can watch the news on this thing!
This was in the autumn of 1995 when my girlfriend Kolbrún and I moved into a flat in Reykjavík, and this little TV came out of one of the boxes.
To our surprise, the only channel that worked was an Icelandic Christian TV station called Omega. We looked at each other and laughed. Sure, we’d probably become genuine Christians before the winter was over, preaching downtown or something! We then placed the TV somewhere in the back of a closet.
A few days later, I found myself at a loose end one evening. I was bored. Suddenly, the small TV came to mind. Was it definitely only this Christian station that worked? Perhaps it would work if I bent the antenna this way. Or were there maybe some settings I’d missed? I went and found it in the closet. It hadn’t changed. The Omega channel was the only one that worked.
I started watching. Perhaps it was because I liked watching people who were good at giving talks, lectures, and speeches. I had been trained to judge speech contests at school; this was interesting.
For the next few weeks, I watched Omega sporadically, checking out those speakers and preachers. Now, I could not help but wonder about the things they were saying. Was God good? Who was Jesus? What did Jesus do for us?
There came an evening when I concluded a four-point thought process. Before I started that process, I decided the only way to think this through and get reliable results was to be brutally honest and transparent with myself.
Does God exist?
At least, the chance explanation was much harder to accept. In other words, it took more faith to believe all that I saw around me was the result of chance than to believe there was a God who designed it.
So, it was more likely than not that God existed. I couldn’t prove it the way you would prove the angles of a triangle added up to 180 degrees. However, you cannot lead a life based solely on that kind of evidence. The use of reason, logic, and evidence goes beyond that.
Who is God?
Second, who was this God? What characteristics does he have? For example, was he good or bad? Well, what I saw around me, and more importantly, within me, drove me to the conclusion that it was us humans messing things up.
Occasionally, I hurt others and caused harm around me. This was what I’d learned, and it was the same everywhere.
I was wicked and couldn’t change that with my own resources. I had tried and failed.
Furthermore, it seemed unlikely that a bad God would design beauty as we see it in creation. Beauty points to goodness. Besides, there was not much point in believing in a bad God; therefore, I concluded that God is good.
Can I know God?
But we shouldn’t expect a good God to do that. A good God would want to be with us without forcing us to. We would be free to decide.
On TV, I saw big stadiums where many people accepted Christ at once. I remember feeling sceptical of the idea that you had to be in a group situation like that to find God. However, if I could connect with God alone and honestly, I would be willing to explore that.
The Bible shows a way
God was there, God was good, and God had some way for me to get to know him. On the basis of these three points, I concluded that there was at least enough accurate information in the Bible to connect with God.
It all got a bit scary when I found myself faced with this conclusion. It became clear to me that there was only one way to verify my ideas. I simply needed to ask God if he had any interest in me. I needed to know if God was there and if I could contact him. That is to say, I had to follow through on my resolution to uphold honesty and transparency. If I didn’t act, I would be lying to myself.
Decision and action
Kolbrún was sleeping on my left side, but I was wide awake. I decided to ask God in plain words.
God, I have heard you have sent your son Jesus to die for my sins. If you are there and would like anything to do with me, then here I am.
As soon as I opened up my mouth, God was there. He wrapped his arms around me and poured his love on me. It was an incredible experience, and my life has never been the same since.
Kolbrún came to faith gradually over the following months. In January 1996, Kolbrún and I decided to get married. Our wedding day was the 1st of September 1996. It was a day of victory and triumph.
The years since then have been an adventure. Through it all, the faithfulness of God is what shines through.
What is your story?
Now you know a crucial piece of my story. Our stories will be different, but there is one thing we have in common: we both need God. We are made to receive his love and love him.
Here is one way to pray, if you are ready to talk to God:
God, I have heard you sent your son Jesus to die for my sins. If you are there and want to have anything to do with me, then here I am.
This could be a step for you, as it was for me. If you have prayed this prayer or are seeking help with it, please contact me. I will do my best to help you.